Halloween Howlings by charlie smith

Jokes so bad they could kill you

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License



Why is Dracula such a good proofreader ?

Because he is always looking for Type -O's



Why did Dracula quit smoking ?

He was tired of his coughin' (coffin)



What scared the chicken farmer at midnight in the chicken house ?

a poultrygeist



What scared the turkey farmer at midnight in the turkey house ?

goblins


what did the ghost of a statistician rattle on Halloween and where??

a markov chain in Monte Carlo.



Q: why did the angry witch have trouble getting home?

A: she was always flying off the handle


Q: what was the witch's favorite subject in elementary school?

A: spell-ing


Q: why can't alcoholics become ghosts?

A: they can't handle the boo-ze


Q: which restaurant won't Dracula eat at ?

A: Steak and Ale


Q: what beer won't a werewolf drink?

A: Coors Silver Bullet


Q: what are werewolves?

A: wolves in the past tense


Q: if Stephen King moved to the Research Triangle Area where would he live?

A: Cary (Carrie)


Q: Where did the NCSU finance office put Dracula's coffin when he shipped it?

A: Accounts receivable


Q: why did Dracula fail stereochemistry ?

A: he had trouble with mirror images.


Q: why are the hounds of hell always howling in distress?

A: no firehydrants


Q: What is the favorite type of music of a mummy ?

A: Wrap (Rap)


Q: What will the biochemist be for Halloween?

A: A Mean Old Acid (Amino acid)