homemade jokes by
charlie smith
and riddles
What happened to the frog that didn't put money in his parking meter
on Hillsborough Street ?
He was
towed (toad)
What does a dinosaur do when he can't think of the right word to say ?
He asks
a thesarus
Was Rene Descartes really a philosopher ?
No, he just THOUGHT, HE WAS
Why does the turkey have a hard time getting out of bed around thanksgiving ?
He doesn't even want to think about DRESSING
Q: what is the disciples favorite flower at Easter time?
A: a rose.
Q:
In Dante's Divine Comedy, there are different levels of hell. one for
murders, thieves, Carolina fans, etc. What happens to people that
tell bad jokes?
A: they get PUNished
Q: what was the pilgrim's favorite kind of music?
A: Plymouth Rock
Q: why will Santa be a bit late this year?
A: one of reindeer has a flat hoof
Q:
at the post-Christmas press conference, Santa was asked why the sleigh
was running a bit slower this year. What was his response ?
A: No comment (comet)
Q: what's the Easter bunny's favorite kind of music?
A: hip-hop
Q: what section of the library does the bookworm go to at breakfast time?
A: serials
Q: what is the favorite european painter of the financial math student?
A: Monet (money)
Q: Why was Van Gogh a painter rather than a musician?
A: he didn't have an ear for music
Q: what's the favorite coffee of the laywer ?
A: SU(E)matra.
Q: what's the favorite cofffee of the dairy farmer?
A: De-Caf (the calf)
Q: What is the favorite type of music of St Patrick ?
A: Sham-rock
Q: Why did the snowman fail his statistics course?
A: He froze on the final exam
Q: Which fraternity did the coffee lover rush ?
A: KAPPA-cino
Q: What's this year's spring fashion for restriction enzymes?
A: cut-off jeans (genes)
Q: What do you get the bioinformatics person for their birthday?
A: a new pair of jeans
Q: ?
A: